….  A Poem … Hidup yg Berwarna

Well…. In 3 months I’ll be 30. I become in between scared and excited, I definitely need to be out my comfor zone soon enough.

I write this Indonesian poems the other day… I don’t know whether is good or bad, you can judge it yourself.


Hidupku yang Berwarna

Hidupku penuh dengan warna warni kehidupan

Hanya segelintir orang yang tahu, bagaimana perjuangan setiap hari yang aku lalui selama ini. 

Jangan melihat orang dari luar-nya saja, aku menegarkan diri. 

Tidak banyak orang yg sepertiKu, mengalami kepahitan hidup. 

Bagaimana aku hidup dengan kemewahan dan apapun aku mau akan kudapat, tinggal di asrama elit di luar negeri-pun, akupun pernah. 

Tapi hidup itu tidak selalu ada diatas, akupun harus menerima keadaan. 

Kenyataan pahit dan musibah yang datang bertubi tubi harus kualami, disaat seperti ini, jika aku tidak percaya Tuhan, aku sudah binasa.

Aku benci harus mengemis minta bantuan, aku belajar, apapun yang mudah didapat dan jalannya tidak benar, tidak kekal hukumnya. 

Hidup yang hanya memikirkan bagaimana aku bisa hidup melewati hari demi hari karena serba berkekurangan pernah ku jalani. Impian hanya sekedar impian.

Hari berganti hari, tahun berganti tahun; impian masih menghantui.

Hidup penuh dengan perjuangan, mungkin aku kadang-kadang iri dengan yang lain. Tapi ini jalan Hidupku. 

Aku bosan dengan orang yang bisa mengeluh karena kesusahan yang aku dapat lihat sebelah mata saja. cobalah seperti diriku, apakah kau sanggup? 

Hanya aku sendiri yang dapat mengubah Hidupku walaupun setapak demi setapak. 

Kebahagian datang-nya dari diri sendiri, Itu benar. 

Yang aku kejar sekarang adalah hidup yang berarti, mengejar impian dan cinta yang tulus.

Aku pernah kaya, aku pernah miskin. Hidup bukan bedasarkan materi saja. Yang tepenting dalam Hidupku, aku bisa menikmati semua impian-impianku. 

Warna – warni kehidupan masih berjalan di hidupku. Akupun harus berjalan dengan tegar dan beriman. 


This on below is a song has been stuck in my head since last months. I know it’s way to romantic, but I love the cheerinesss ^___^

Video Clip ~ By My Side


Counting the Blessings over Being Resentful on Turning Big 30

Life has to be seen with the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Turn Big 30 shouldn’t be scary right? It’s just a number. In reality, means, Life has to be more meaniful and a blessing to others. There’s some saying “Life begin at 30 (eventhough mostly point at Man, but I think can be apply to Modern Woman like myself).

Regular Health Check-ups

Turning 30 means that We start to look at our health in more serious way hence Doctors recomend that We do General Check-Up almost every year. We should be grateful to our prime health and unhealthy lifestyle choices that might detters health in our Twenties, No more of that. Bye-bye binge drinking, being selfinduced-insomiac, unhealthy diet ( unhealthy food and drink almost everyday) and anything that crazy enough to deteriotes our health. With age, we can maybe healthier than we are now. 

Family Oriented

We should be gratefull to our parents, they have been loving us for the past 30 years unconditionally. It’s priceless. However, We still need to repay them back by showing back our love to them emotionally and financially. I believe in an old saying which actually means giving backs to your parents no matter how much the value, even very little (amount that we can only afford to give) has greater return in your fortune and happiness. Turning 30 especially being single, we realised our parents especially Asian’s parents have dreams for each of us as individuals, they might hesitate to say it any longer; What they can only do now is pray and hope for the best. What matter most for them, we are happy and they are happy because we love them unconditionaly too. 

Being Acomplished 

The greatest fear of turning big 30 is asking yourselves, “Have I accomplished anything in Life ? Am I happy on how my life is going at the moment ? ” or something along these line but in th same context. I have friends who just turn 30 also still struggling with these fear. As I’m getting closer to 30, I realised, I need to live by being greatfull to small acomplishments if I have not yet to achieved my biggest accomplishment. Sometimes counting small accomplishments, we realised our lifes is much better than we though we are in. 

Real Friendships

At this point in life, by now, we should be able to judge people not entirely based on surface level. Turning 30, means that we already have a few niche of real friendships, where we are comfortable with each other. Our Flaws are just the colour of our friendship, we see beyond what we see on the outside. By turning 30 means, we can be in a middle ground of friendships, not young, neither old; greater chances on fitting in. 

Meaningful Love Relationship

As much as I hate to say it again and again, Now, I rather be single until I am convince enough that I will give my heart fully to somebody. Talking with other girl-friends who around my age, we have mostly the same opinions. It’s exhausting emotionally being emotionally attached to someone, even if the other person is totally into us, the other person love the idea of marriage for the sake of being married (parents and peer pressure) over and over. Many persuer, but only few worth attentions. No more wasting time for those, we thought who just in for the fun or just for the sake of being in relationship. Marriagge is about being commited, knowing and respect each other well, deepen the love of each other, deep meaningfull friendships and most importantly have similar goals and views in life.  Turning 30, we need to realised that we need to accept that no one is perfect, we need to see pass the flaws, and the other person also see us that we love the other person through their imperfections from time to time. Nowadays, It’s hard too seek a pure intention relationship, it’s give and take relationship to the fullest. Turning 30, I realised I have to and will risk myself to have a pure intention relationship, if the man also have pure intention on me. 

Financially Independent and Invest Smart

Turning 30 means that our Financial Life cannot function the same way as we are in our twenties. Financially independent can be viewed in diffrent ways for some people, no more ‘help’ from parents, not living paycheck to paycheck, have emergency fund available upon noticed, have diverse sources of incomes, debt free and responsible investors. We have to start counting our fortune by now and start to piling up, being financial independent and invest smart come with long term commitment.

Give back to communities

Part of life, we never can live alone in this world. Start seeing that you have bless life that many people have less than we have, some may have more than us, but they don’t have thing that we have and vice versa. Giving back to communities especially those in need, will give greater satisfaction in life, part of the concept of Happiness is Infectious. Turning 30 means we need to realised the other concept of Give and Take also as part of life. 

Here just few list of things that we need to start counting our blessing that we have and experience for the past 30 years. Stop being resentful of how much we had waste our time, we need to change. 

Seriously, I am struggling to see life being positive, even though real life for the past 10 years were away from my deepest expectations. I have enough being negatives for the past few years, It didn’t and doesn’t give me good feelings. At least I try hard, so far so good…  hopefully others will follow..

🌺 Velisia S Kusno 🌺


Karimun Jawa ( File Rudy )02002

Karimun Jawa Photos

My super fun weekend trip to Karimun Jawa with Mum and her friends last April. I tag along, since My Mum asked me to accompany her in this trip. Despite being surrounded by Ladies and Uncles over 40s and 50s, I managed to have fun. It’s actually quite entertaining to see them act on holiday… Anyway do Enjoy seeing these Photos. ^__^


My Singing Voice

Somebody has told me, my singing even my own talking voice is not complementing my age. My singing voice potrays younger voice than my real age. You can judge for yourselves. 😊

Offcourse, I want to prove by hearing myself my own voice and offcourse being in creative side. Trying out my iPhone there is VoiceMemo, then make a video out of it. I was stuck last night, trying to upload the video in this blog. 

Now, I think I managed to solve it.

Friends, click the link below…. I uploaded privately in my youtube. You can only view it, if you have the link…. 

My Singing Voice ~ http://youtu.be/h6oJitXS1Zk



Thank Goodness for Mini Vacation 

I feel refresh from my hectic demanding everyday life. I had chance to spending time with my mother; just the two of us, most of the times. Also, the last 3 days, It’s good I’ve been spending time to with one of my bestfriends and her friend. By reading this blog I want to convince you, never miss any chance to have a mini vacation once your everyday life is too stressful for you. It’s not running away but rather its a way to reward and/or remotivate yourselves. It doesn’t have to be fancy vacation, it’s a way for you to gain new experience, new perspectives of your life but most of all, enjoy life as a general. 

1. It’s suprisingly comfortable travelling long distance by Train – Kereta Api 

At first, when I heard my Mum, I say It’s such a crazy Idea.  A budget Airline will cost a bit more and only take 1 hour flight versus spending  4,5 hours by train. The ride is not exactly bad, it’s full aircondition, super comfortable seat, clean and there is electricity adapter to charge your electronics. The only drawbacks just the toilet. 

  2. Speed Boat KMP has similar interior like the budget airlines  

It’s takes 2 hours from Jepara to Karimun Jawa; It’s full airconditioned. Using bathroom, not recomended. Overall, it’s great experience


3. You learn to value of electricity and  other convience things more. 

I am surprised to find out that there is no electrity stating 6am to 6pm, during the day at Karimun Jawa. It’s a slow simple life there. Waking up at 6am, just to see georgous sunrise.    

 4. Don’t be afraid to try new things, You’ll be suprised you enjoyed it 

Travelling with quite traditional wooden boat to get around, it’s quite an experience with no proper seating, minimalistic. I get the sense of freedom. This boat bring us to places where I can do snorkeling. Snorkeling is another great experience. The underwater view is breathtaking. Karimun is suprisingly still quite preserve it’s coral reefs.  There’s few island in Karimun Jawa have few resident, a family live in one island, it’s common. 

  5. Laid back vacation is a way to contemplate your life and appreciate it. 

Time fly slowly because there’s no deadline or expectation. 

6. Authentic foods are meant to be enjoyed in the place where it’s made, the simplicity, the way its’s served and the vibe. 

Trying out new food is a must, you get the chance to know the lifestyle of the place. Sometimes the simplest food served in some simple shop in the street, are great. You’ll find eating with the people, it’s makes more interesting even though the place maybe a little bit uncomfortable, hot, humid, bit dirty and really minimalistic. Food is not just about the food, food define poeple. You can respect poeple but how well the food is prepare and its great taste no matter what.  


7. Great friends are the ones we can travel, share the experience with.

We have friends which are good for hanging out, but only few friends that can make a good companion or guide to our travel. I am lucky enough to find such friends who have the sense of adventure and food travels as I am.  


8. Be flexible in your travel, you might not know how suprises or fate will lead you. 

You just need to believe, it’s a great vacation, everything will turn out better than expected. 
9. Going home with the Smile on Your Face is such a great feeling, no matter how tiring your vacation happen to be. 

It’s feel great going home last night, I am satisfied. Today, the first day back at work, I am enegized and refresh. This wouldn’t be the only mini vacation I had, I definitely want some more, maybe sometimes near future.  




Till next time ^_____^ 



Dilemma of Pre30 Single Girls 

I’ll be 30 in six months time, I accepts that I’ve Pre30 life crisis. Seriously for a single girl, who does not? I have girl friends have the same dilemma as I am.  I will list some of mine and some of my girl friends:

1. Everyone expect us to be married by now. 

Offcourse we want to be married but we are not desperate. We are definitely not, We are not taking chances in just to get any guy to be our husbands for the sake of being married. Most end up just chasing our other dreams. Married life, building a family with kids and own a home is a just a wishful thinking for many of us. It’s doesn’t mean we don’t want it, we are being reasonable. 

2. We are just tired of keeping up with friends who bully us for being single

Some of us is single by choice, but most is just unintentionally. Why bother being in relationship that makes you feel all the negatives feelings; the negatives outweight the lovey dovey feeling. As for me, even most of my friends will agree that what matter most is that we are happy. I am happy; no other person can make you happy, only you can help yourselves to be happy. 

3. We are tired of Parents and Relatives Constant Nagging

Yes, we know that our parents, relatives have super good intentions; but constant reminders making us feel our parents don’t respect, value us as at all. One of my friend, once said (paraphrase) ” I fail them, I fail to meet their expectation”. Mom, Dad and Aunties have faith in us. 

4. We come to realised that our body is changing

5 years ago, even 2 years ago, staying up late in the weekend past midnight is common occurrence every week. Every Weekend full of action pack leisure activities. The body was able to cope with it. Nowadays, your eyes, mind and body are not able to function properly past 10pm. At 10pm, the body starts to tell you, you are tired, yawning… start getting sleepier by the hour no matter how many hours you have been sleeping the night before. 

5. Cute babies are our biggest fear and temptations. 

We love to have our own child/children someday, at the same time, is still unattainable by us with our circumstances. Fearing our age getting older, it makes pregnancy and being pregnant harder scientifically. However, at the same time, what’s the point of being married just to have children, a selfish idea. 

6. We are surrounded by men who just want to settle down but not interested in us as an individual

Some of us experienced it, pre-dating, getting to know some guys just to get us disappointed. These guys trully view us as an object, a baby making machine, or whatever the guy fantasies are which include making us a fulltime housewife who they expect us to submit to him fully once married. Most of us, are independent financially and emotionally; We definitely still want our independent even after marriage; being fulltime housewife definitely our biggest fear. 

7.  The biggest fear of all, worst scenario, we are not going to be married at all in the future

Some of us girls, preparing for the worst what if, we are never ever find anyone who trully love us and vice versa. Some even plan the desperate measure, if it’s the case in the end. 

These 7 dilemmas what I can come up with based on my experience and my girl friends’ experiences, they maybe more but some just to trivial.  

As for me, I might have all the 7 dilemmas listed above. However, I’m learning to be wiser and accepting that everyone has different timing in their life. It’s not my time yet at the moment to settle down. Now, I choose to be single, since I’ll be chasing one of my longest dream. If I happened to find one during this time, I don’t mind at all, it’s fated then. 

My Dream, It’s just weeks away, only couple months to go. It’s actually faster than I was predicted. If life according to my plan, I’ll be having a totally new life. I’m excited, scared and nervous at the same time. I’m going against my logics and reasonability; I’m going to follow my heart and take chances.  

Till next time , I mean next weekend friends, I’ll be writting this blog from Karimun Jawa, Semarang and Jogyakarta.  




 For the past week, I’ve been rediscovering one of my old hobby. It’s been few years since I have knitted some scarfs. My sister is able to bring back my passions of craft making, after looking at her total products. She can make mittens, socks and hat for babbies. I haven’t finish this scarf yet. I think it will be ready, just in time for Easter. I used to make scarfs based on the persons, I attended to make for, the colour and the pattern. It usually can take 3 weeks even few months, depending on my mood and free-time. I have to think to whom this scarfs should be given to that definitely used it. I have not yet make a full decision. Maybe at the end, it’s a present to myself ?

Knitting makes you forget about all your problems, instead you’re concentrating on your needles and yarn. There’s satisfaction you’re going to get everytime you finish line by line. Once, you’re an expert or just get the hang-of-it, you can do your knit while watching tv, or even while reading. Train your brain to be able to be multitasks. 

Hmmm… I should be knitting now, finishing this knit, not blogging….  Till next time 😊

PS: Anyone coming back to Indonesia from Sydney ? can you please buy me some new wools  me to make since I need a man-ly greyish-blue colour  for my next project (I pay you back 😊). It’s expensive here in Jakarta, over Rp.120,000 for small ball of yarn, not worth buying…  contact me 😘

My Sister’s project or small business

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

I’m in love with the song, the lyrics is inspiring. Hoping my dreams are coming true in couple of months. The waiting time is killing me, but I guess for the better though. I have time to enjoy what life has to offer. Travelling to places I want to see since last year and visiting one of my best friends next month. Karimun Jawa and Semarang, here I come. A weekend gateways in a month or two with my girl-friends to experience something that we have to do while we still single and young. I am going to miss them, but I want to pursue my dreams.


Happy 30th Birthday My Beloved Friend, Vica Hardi.

May you become an inspiring famous designer, and

do believe in yourselves that you’re capable.



A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re feeling small
Alone in the night you whisper

Thinking no one can hear you at all
You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you

Don’t let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true

When you can dream then you can start
A dream is a wish you make with your heart
When you can dream then you can start
A dream is a wish you make with your heart

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re fast asleep
In dreams you will loose your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep

You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don’t let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know tomorrow

The dream that you wish will come true
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true

When you can dream then you can start
A dream is a wish you make with your heart
When you can dream then you can start
A dream is a wish you make with your heart

When you can dream then you can start
A dream is a wish you make with your heart


4 Years Anniversary of 11 March 2011.

Every-time the month of March is coming, I feel blessed to be alive and survived the ordeal. 2011 is the year that my life has turned upside down, from starting on the end of January to the most worst moment of my life in 11 March 2011 and to live the aftermath. I was emotionally heart-broken. However, being older, wiser, and a survivor, I valued life so much, I respect people who respect others not entirely based on materialistic point of view. What inside their hearts and integrity of their lifes, count.



 Never judge a book from it’s cover, it’s basically what my life was, am and will. If it wasn’t GOD’s hand helping my family and I, I don’t think we are able to survive. Because getting through after the ordeal was and is the hardest. Friendships are being  tested. Looking for relationships are harder, social life time being cut-off and have to be frugal. Serious life lessons that many people wouldn’t have experience, I have to experience the hard way.

I want to thank you again to my best friends who support me, understand me, for the past 4 years. I know sometimes you guys are annoyed at me for some reasons, I always envies your “carefree and relative easy” life, I am sorry.

Reading the blogs that I write 4 and 3 years ago, brings back the memory.Few of my dreams have not been realized, I’ve been dreaming about it for years. Hopefully, it will realized soon, I have some plans hope God approved, but God’s way leading my life. 2015 has to be Out of my Comfort Zone, follow my dream and God’s plan for me =D


I am inspired after reading a Facebook Entry by Merry Riana, I have share them in my Facebook Timeline. Point No. 7 is what really get me to think logically and emotionally,if I want a meaningfull and successful life. I have to believe and have faith in God’s plan outside my plan.


Singapore VS Jakarta VS Sydney

Walking ‘home’ back from work today, make me realized something. I’m blessed being able to experience 3 different metropolitan cities in the past 3 months. Sydney in December 2014, Jakarta in January 2015 and now Singapore.  Complete changes between the 3 different lifestyles, I need to keep doing adjustment, this crazy, but thrilling, exciting, totally what I need at this moment of my life. It’s a definite OUT OF COMFORT ZONE for me. Let me just point out the facts what I have found out living the past 3 months in these cities and most likely what I think about the cities. If so happen, I offended somebody, I apologize.

3 Weeks that’s the amount I spent in Sydney. Life over there is pretty laid back. I noticed few lifestyle changes in the past few years. Everything is expensive, from everyday living, transportation and even basic necessities. However, the people tend to enjoy the outdoor more, much more happier and friendlier. If you happen to shop and dine in Sydney, you quite enjoy the services compare to Singapore and Jakarta. If you happen to dine in food-courts or restaurants, those waitress or servers have lots of respect to the foods their serve. Entertainment wise, well lots of outdoor, which I happened to enjoy the white sand beaches, natural parks and historical buildings. Since I never work in Sydney, I can’t judge Sydney office life in general.

It’s where I spent most of my time in the past 9 years. I learnt to love it. Life is pretty hectic in Jakarta. Workdays start early in Jakarta. Compare to other cities, Jakarta’s people wake up super early in the morning to get to work, minimizing the chance to catch bad traffic. Public transports are slowly getting better, but driving to work is twice even thrice faster than catching public transport. In Jakarta, you can find food that are really cheap ( if your stomach can handle some dirty stuff, you should be fine) but at the same time, you can have some food so expensive, you can’t even justified whether is it worth it or not. Services is well depends on where you dine and shops, I find they quite friendly as long as we are not overly demanding and be polite to them. Entertainment wise, Jakarta mostly indoor as in malls. Working life in Jakarta is pretty old-fashion, sometimes professionalism doesn’t make you climb the corporate ladder faster, connections and sweet talks win.

2 more weeks in Singapore, but I already bored of this city. Everything is too orderly but what make me bored of it, it’s the food and unfriendly atmosphere. After 2 weeks, all the food pretty much taste the same in every food-courts or hawker places. Uncles and Aunties please cook us the food we ordered heartily not just for you making money. Do serve us with a smile not while you are bitching. Is it just me, being to negative? But I rarely found happy people working in food-courts or hawkers places. However, Singapore has the best public transportation (minus Taxi , some taxi drivers drive so bad!) out of these 3 cities. I never had to wait for more than 5 minutes to catch MRT or Buses. It’s so reliable and clean. Entertainment wise, pretty much the same like Jakarta, lots of Shopping Centers. Outdoor is limited, slightly better than Jakarta. Now to working life, I don’t think I can fit in to be working full time in Singapore. Too many things I found it too much hassle for solving simple problem. Although they really are professional, have integrity in their work.

By next month, I don’t know where I will be living, but most likely in Jakarta. I miss my family and friends. At the same time, I miss Sydney too, I can’t wait to get back to Sydney.

I’m living life to the fullest, let me go with the flow. Slowly reaching my dreams. 😊